Conscious Substance Use
A Conversation Guide for Families
During my formative years in the ’70s and ’80s, substance use was presented as a strict binary: You were either an addict or you weren’t. I grew up believing that people with substance use issues fit a particular mold—they were a distinct “type” of person—and the phrase “once an addict, always an addict” was just the truth.
Looking back, I now see how deeply the Alcoholics Anonymous model influenced my thinking, even though I was never personally involved. The ubiquitous treatment program shaped not just how recovery was approached, but how everyone understood substance use. If you weren’t an addict, you had nothing to worry about.
The era’s War on Drugs reinforced these binaries with fear-based messaging. Substance use was presented as a legal and moral problem with a binary solution. We learned about drugs from police officers who visited our schools, and the message was simple: Legal substances are fine once you’re old enough, but illegal drugs will land you in jail. Don’t use them.
This zero-tolerance approach discouraged any effort to understand or research the varying effects of different substances. Marijuana, psychedelics, and heroin were all seen as equally harmful. Rather than promoting informed decision-making, the focus was solely on enforcing morally upright abstinence, which discouraged critical thinking.
Goodbye to yesterday’s binaries
How things have changed! As my son entered high school last year, I started thinking about educating him about substances. I soon realized I didn’t even know where to start. The language has changed, and simplistic binaries no longer apply. Whether a drug is legal or illegal is irrelevant to its safety profile. And it’s not just addicts who are dying from overdose.
I’m not the only one struggling to talk to my teen. As I started raising the subject of substances with circles of mom friends, it became clear that many of us are facing the same challenge. We’re paralyzed by fear. As a result, we’re not talking much about substances at home, other than to say: “Don’t use them! Any of them! Ever!”
We hear ourselves preaching abstinence, but we also know that approach didn’t work for us—or for anyone in our generation. The proof is all around us. While rates of alcohol addiction have remained steady, prescription drug addiction has surged. Tobacco smoking rates have dropped, but teens have embraced alternative forms of nicotine, including vaping and pouches.
And while addiction is one potential outcome of substance use, it’s far from the only harm. Substances can lead to a range of physical, mental, and social consequences—such as impaired judgment, health risks, and less connection in relationships—even for those who don’t develop an addiction. Yet, we lack the tools to talk about these risks in a way that’s meaningful for our kids.
A new approach is needed
The problem is, we don’t know what to offer as an alternative to abstinence. It’s inevitable that our kids will encounter substances at some point, but we lack practical tools to guide them in navigating these experiences safely, responsibly, and even joyfully.
Over the past year, I’ve reeducated myself. The most critical lesson has been understanding that substance use exists on a spectrum. This shift from binary thinking to spectrum thinking has completely reshaped how I understand substance use, and how I talk about it with my family.
A CONVERSATION GUIDE FOR FAMILIES
To help bridge the gap for myself and others like me, I created a zine called Conscious Substance Use: A Conversation Guide for Families. In this 20-page booklet, I break down the concept of substance use as a spectrum, and I offer practical tips for engaging in more informed, meaningful conversations about substances with kids, teens and young adults.
Don’t worry—my zine emphasizes that young people should wait until their brains are fully developed before using substances. However, we can’t wait until then to start educating our kids. If we do, it will be too late. By the time their brains are fully developed, they’ll be off at university, or backpacking through Europe. The right time to begin talking about substances at home is now.
I’d love to share my zine, Conscious Substance Use: A Conversation Guide for Families, with you. It’s practical, easy to read, and great for getting extended family members and caregivers on the same page. This will help everyone understand why the kids are suddenly talking all about a subject that doesn’t usually come up.
It’s $8 to cover printing and shipping. The price is the same in U.S. and Canadian dollars.
For families who live in more than one home, and for hyperlocal friend groups, I am happy to send multiple copies to a single address. Each additional copy costs $4. So two copies would be $12, and three would be $16.
How to order
In Canada
Send me an email. Share your mailing address in the body of the email. Also let me know how many copies you would like. I’ll reply back with instructions for sending a bank transfer. Once I’ve received payment, your zine will be on its way!
In the U.S.
Send me an email. Share your mailing address in the body of the email. Also let me know how many copies you would like. I’ll send you a payment link via the Wise app for an easy, cross-border transfer. After payment, I’ll ship your zine right away.
Let’s work together to educate our village and help the next generation make conscious, informed decisions about substances.